Hiding Part II

I am really struggling with my mother's demise.  I do not know if it is because I loved her so much, I am not as emotionally strong as I thought, or I am just getting used to the idea of her passing, but I can't seem to even have a simple conversation about my mother without feeling like I am going to break down.  

At the viewing last night I just hid most of the night.  I am a little embarrassed by my actions, but I just wanted the focus to be on my mother and not a blithering idiot of a son. Hopefully people will forgive me.