Pick your poison

If you are a single mother with small children here you are in deep crap. There are few jobs. If you are unskilled, the choices become nearly zero. If you are middle aged or fat, your chances of finding a new mate are slim. You gotta stay with hubby.

A woman I know (but not well) husband attacked a relative (a sexual thing). The family now hates him. Some in the community know about it and more will once he goes to jail. What does the wife do? Stay with a man who you cannot respect and may commit other terrible acts in the future. Leave him and put herself and daughter in poverty the rest of her life. The daughter will likely need to leave school to support the family.

Pick your poison, either way you die inside.

Good....no good

The foreman of the crew that works on my project is a crusty sort of guy...does not like to do more than he needs to to get the basics done. He did not like the fact that I was trying to make everything beautiful and thus more difficult for him. There was a big stress between us initially.

One day he was trying to cut a piece of plastic with a crappy tool and I said I would get him something better. I ran across the street, spent $4 and got the perfect tool. He had a huge smile when I said, "present". I thought it was strange that he was so happy until I realized that $4 represents a days wages for him.

Somehow our relationship has gotten quite good. He has insisted on a couple of changes that were more work for him that I did not care about. We laugh together even though we can not communicate except for a handful of words beyond "good" or "no good".

100 days of mourning

A powerful and respected monk died here 100 days ago (this one of natural causes). He was loved by people all over the country including the revered royal family. Last night marked the end of the 100 days of mourning so they had a celebration at the temple that included Thai dancing and the display of the monks body in a gold coffin with tremendous number of flowers (many from the royal family). A nice finish to a good man's life.

More Progress

The roof is on and the bathroom is closing in on being completed. They should finish the tiling in the next day or two. A few days later, the clothes washing area should be completed also.

I am preparing to start the kitchens...hopefully late next week. Yes it is kitchens since they say that the frequent public events wreck havoc with the food preparation for the children. I have also added some walkways to the plan because they are needed and we got a truck load of large stones donated that can not be used for anything else.

All the additions means that the price tag is going up also...around $5400. So far I have raised about $3000. If you would like to help, you can do it here

Tryin' but it is tryin'

For the last couple of weeks my friend who had helped out on the project has been away, so I am on my own. This would not be so bad, but I do not speak Burmese which is needed at the site or Thai which is needed at the shops and on the phone. I have friends to translate over the phone (which is a challenge), but they can be hard to reach sometimes so I try to get my points across with the workers and, luckily, they seem to get it most of the time. It is really tough some days.

Justice...there is some

An update on a couple of criminal matters:

• I am told (but can not verify) that they have captured everyone except the gunman in the murder of the monk (mentioned here)
• They have arrested some military and policemen for the New Years bombing in Bangkok (mentioned here).
• The assailant who attacked a woman in our town spent a week in jail before making bail (mentioned here)
  

It seems that there can be justice in this area.

Beat a kid and a foreigner visits

A friend of mine called this afternoon and told me about a teenage girl who had been beaten by her stepfather. They decided not to get the police involved yet because it may have made the matter worse. My friend asked me if I would go along with them to visit the father because people are generally on their best behavior when foreigners are around. So I, along with two social workers, 4 teachers and the girl went to her house.

The father was not home which may have been a blessing since he may have been intimidated by such a big group. The meeting was quite cordial and might have been useful if the man gets the message that people are watching including a big dopey foreign guy.

Get it out of your head

A couple of days ago I saw a little naked boy scrubbing his clothes outside at the home. This is not an uncommon sight. Then, the boy put the clothes right back on and went on his way. I am not sure if he only had one set (I doubt this because I bought every boy a set of pants a couple of weeks ago). Either way, there is nobody to teach the boy that this is not good...it is a bit upsetting to see these things and difficult to get it out of your head.

Gumpin' Part II

A month ago I drove my friend's truck 3.5 hours each way to Kanchanaburi to pick up a donation. I stopped at my dentist office to make an appointment (they do not speak English so it is easier to do it in person). In the waiting room I met David, a nice guy who happens to be the General Manager at the Felix Kwai River Resort (http://felix-river-kwai.th66.com/) a big gorgeous resort in Kanchanaburi. We got to talking and he said he was looking for a new project to help.

I just had a meeting with David and he gave me some good advice (especially useful is contacting hotels for sheets, towels and dishes since they change them out regularly) and has agreed to make a nice donation. He is going to try to provide some on going support as well. Once again, doing nothing special, I meet someone nice who will help out. I really am Forrest Gump in disguise.

The dogs gonna be pist!

Now that the end is in sight for the bathrooms, we are preparing to complete the dining room that was started a while ago and build a kitchen. This dog is almost certain to be unhappy with this, but I think it will be better for the children.

And you did not believe me

Some of you may not have believed my earlier post about 41 kids on a school bus/ pick-up truck. Once again, I risked my life to take a photo driving one handed down a road full of terrible drivers for your entertainment.

Gumpin' it

I feel like I fall into so many good things on a continual basis. A couple of days ago I met a nice couple that were on a bike tour of SE Asia. It turns out they are journalist and they and they are interested in my little project and me. They came out to the home and took hundreds of beautiful picture (with the notable exception of the special hair thining lens that I am certain he has on his camera). They also interviewed me.

I really do not feel so special and the fact that seemingly intelligent people seem to think so is kind of astounding to me. Either way, really nice couple, good experience and with some more good fortune, maybe a big help to the children at the temple.

It's Beautiful

I realized I never talk about how beautiful this area is. Every morning and evening the sunrises and sunsets are gorgeous. The lake is surrounded by mountains, some actually jagged cliffs, that are truly spectacular.

Bathroom Update

The bathroom is starting to look like a bathroom. The walls are up and the septic tank is in. Over the septic tank (in the foreground) will be a clothes washing area and clothes drying area. The entire area will be covered with a green roof and the walls will be covered with stones.

The coolest life

I was sitting at the Myanmar border gate talking to some Burmese army officers about publicizing a meeting for tomorrow. The meeting is about Operation Smile, an NGO that provides free facial surgery to the poor (http://www.operationsmile.org/programs/patients/international/) ...really a great program. The officer introduces me to his commanding officer, who is a little drunk but friendly. They agree to send a truck around the village with a loud speaker on top to tell everyone about the meeting. As I was sitting there, some beautiful Buddist nuns walked by with their shaven heads and their beautiful pink robes and I thought I have the most interesting life.

A monk I can work with

I have had immense frustration at the inability of the temple to do anything. Today, after the millionth person was trying to overcharge me for something the temple was supposed to take care of, I got a little angry and the number 3 monk heard me. He is a passionate guy and I could tell he was disturbed. He took a couple of minutes and it appears he solved a problem that we have been trying to get the temple to solve for months. This could be promising.

Progress!

The walls are up and the Coconut Palm Trees that needed to come down came down today. The man cutting the trees climbed them with nothing but his bare hands and a little axe. Of course, the kids were fighting to get the nuts as they were falling from the tree which was a bit scary given they have much more courage than brains at this age.

Late in the day a friend brought some donations including toothbrushes. It turns out that only 2 kids had them so it was a great donation. They also brought soap for their bodies and clothes which they were out of also.

It is quite strange but I get absolutely no pleasure from giving these donations...more sad that people have to go with out such basic necessities.

You have got to be kidding me!

I went to the temple this morning to help the children who were supposed to go and get the stones needed for the exterior finish of the project I am working on. The contractor was supposed to get a truck and the temple someone to watch the kids (we had a worker from the contractor on standby in case the temple did not follow through).

I got there and nobody was ready. Three hours later, the contractor says that instead of 400 baht it will cost 1800 baht. Then he says, next time we should start earlier. I lost my cool a bit and called a man at the temple and told him it was time for them to start helping a little on this project. I told him that they needed to find a person who has a truck and someone to watch the kids.

It is a terrible idea to get frustrated, but after the work being held up a week and a half because I could not get a monk to walk across the street for wood, I think I have become a bit frustrated.

A Great Honor

There are two women, F. and P. P., and their mother who I have become quite close with. They call me their brother and we have a brother/sister relationship. When P.P. leaves her home for long periods of time she honors her family by getting on her knees and doing a series of bows. Last night she was going away and I watched her do this to her sister and I thought it was really nice. Then, she asked me to come inside and she did the same for me. I do not think I have ever felt more honored.

An age old question answered

Last night I was getting ready to drive my bike from some meetings in a nearby city when I realized I had a flat tire. A man took me to the motorbike repair shop which was closed. He knocked on the door and they said they would repair the tire. Apparently, it had been happy hour for several hours because the men were quite drunk, so they sent their three boys out to try to fix the tire. No luck. So a drunk man came out and tried with limited success. Then, another one joined him. Finally, after one hour they said the bike was ready. Being aware of their drunken state I decided to do a quick check....brakes working...nope...tire full of air...nope. A few laughs, a few sorries, and a few minutes of work and I was on my way.

So the answer to the age old question, "How many drunks does it take to fix a tire? " 2 plus their 3 sons.

When to say "No"

The project at the temple started that I just wanted the kids to have food so they did not have to beg. Then, I thought they should be able to bathe and poop in a decent place too. Then, I thought they should be able to eat food that is prepared and served in a clean place. Now I want them to have clean clothes too.

The project started as searching for a food donor and bathrooms that would cost $2500. We made the bathrooms smaller and added a kitchen, finishing a dining room, a septic tank, two water storage tanks, a clothes washing area a clothes drying area. We are trying to make everything very durable and beautiful. Now the project costs about $4000. So far I have received about $1500. I really wanted to limit my own out of expense to $1000.

It is hard to know when to say "no". I want things to be right for the children. I do not want to leave here and feel like I left the children in a terrible situation. I guess I am going with the idea that somehow the money will come.

Fire and Grass Roof...bad combination

Three children stay in bamboo huts next to the Baan Unrak house. One boy lit a candle in his hut and left. Apparently, fire, grass roofs and bamboo are not a good combination. The fire quickly consumed three huts. Nobody was hurt. The kids lost their clothes (I replaced two sets of clothes for each boy). The kids seemed unfazed by it, but the accountant, who lost all of the financial records for the last three months, has looked better.

Gonna die....good!

There is a local woman whose daughter I know who:

• is HIV+ and does not follow the medication schedule for her ARV's (HIV medicines)
  
• she has TB and has only taken a portion of the medication that was donated to her several times thus the infection is quite resistant to normal medications.
  
• She works as a prostitute
• She has unprotected sex.
  
• All the hospitals have given up hope that she will follow through with a regime and literally told her to go home to die
  
• She will die soon
  

Last night I was chatting with a friend of mine who works with an NGO that does many things including assist people who are HIV+. She is especially compassionate and has dedicated her life to doing good things. We were discussing this patient and she said, "She will die soon, this is good. We must worry about the public as a whole not just one person." She is probably right but it seemed so callous to talk about someone you know like that it really took me back.

Insecurity

There was an attempted bombing in Kanchanaburi two days ago. The bomb was disarmed and it does not seem to have made the papers (so this is a rumor but from a friend who was there so I think it is true). Still do not know who is behind it or the New Years Eve bombings.

Realistically, a handful of people killed on New Years Eve in the bombings while thousands were killed on the roads during the new year holiday. Which should you worry about?

I am not worried about my safety in the least but I am keeping an eye on events.

A +

Sandy and I met A at Baan Unrak 3 1/2 years ago. She told everyone she was 16. She was really enthusiastic, a hard worker and she could speak English, Thai, Karen and Burmese (impressive considering she has only had 4 years of formal education). They ended up having her supervise the kitchen workers...quite an accomplishment especially considering she was really 13.

I have kept up with what she has been doing since she left Baan Unrak. Now she is really 16 and earns about $3 a day making brooms at her family's house.
A friend of mine told me about some educational programs that might be a good match for A. I sat down with her today at her house, a quaint bamboo hut set among rubber and palm trees, to talk about them. She wants to become more educated, but she feels like she must work to care for her parents. Caring for parents is a really important part of the culture here and I doubt that she will go into any of these programs. I hope I am wrong because if not, a girl with so many good qualities will have few options past making brooms the rest of her life.

Did ya hear the news....

The rumor mill has been a buzz for a week with mostly ridiculous rumors since the head monk was murdered. This would seem harmless except some of the rumors seem to be designed to enrage the simmering ethnic tensions in the area.

I was talking to friends about this and they made an interesting observation; the people here are from Burma and they can not get any honest news there...this is the normal way to find out what is happening.

The police know who killed the monk, but can not find him. There are no official reports about who paid the assassin. We will see if there will be justice.

What to do?

I know a woman who was attacked by a man yesterday. He is quite guilty and there is a witness to prove it. I went to the police station and watched the drama as the man spoke and made up lies that a 5 year old could spot. Then, the police officer started yelling at him. Quite intense.

The man's family has apologized and offered to pay the girl to forget it.

What would you do...go through with the trial and all of the pain associated with it, risk retribution towards the victim and her family (this is a real possibility) and possibly not get justice or take the money and take care of your family and hope that the man has learned his lesson.

When you are very poor with very limited prospects and no legal status the choice is much more difficult.

For now she is prosecuting the man.

Damn she is nasty

The house I live at is part of a small compound, one large house and my smaller house. The owners generally live in the large house. They are building a resort nearby and have been staying at it.

I went to the resort to visit their dog (I can not believe I am going out of my way to see that stupid dog). I started chatting with them and they said, " We are sorry for our sister-in-law. We treat her so well and she is always very angry. One day we had guests over for dinner and she thought we were making too much noise. She came outside where we were eating scolded us and slammed the door. We decided it would be better for us to stay here and let her stay at our house alone."

Well not exactly alone...I must see her angry face everyday. The angry woman (who Sandy calls "snarl face") speaks English, so I decided to be extra nice to her which seems to make her even more angry. It is kind of funny how so many people here avoid conflict but it seems a little extreme to abandon your house, even temporarily, to avoid a nasty woman.

The bombings and the new year

There were a series of bombings in Bangkok last night that killed 3 people and injured 38. Stupid stuff. I , of course, immediately thought of Muslim extremist. The government does not know who did it but suspects those who lost out in the coup.

I feel a little bad about thinking about Muslims this way since I am friendly with a few Muslim families here.. They have a tradition of slaughtering an animal and inviting friends to eat at their home on December 31st. I was invited by a couple of families to join them for a meal. Good food, nice tradition, nice people.